I’ve been coming to the outpatient transplant unit (OTU) all week. I’ve noticed it’s been really easy to just want to turtle inward. I’ve had multiple chemo infusions in addition to starting several medications. I speak to several medical professionals a day. I want to keep my head down, do what needs to be done so I can come home. My enneagram 1 is in stress and 1s to go to 4s during stress and take on some of those qualities. For me it just means I feel more emotional and isolated. Though I’d argue most people would feel this way In my current position. Never forget though..I am in fact the BATB (translation is in the picture below)

Going through this process with my mom being my primary caregiver has been both an immense blessing and challenge. It’s a blessing because she does a beautiful job caring for me and making sure my needs are met. It’s a mental challenge for me because I’m 36 and I have my own family that I’m in charge of caring for. I’m also fiercely independent. This role reversal for me has been a tough adjustment.

I’ve given myself three goals a day to focus on so that I don’t completely disappear in myself. Each day I have a mental, spiritual and physical goal.

Mental Goal– My mental goal is making myself do something that isn’t just disassociating in front of the T.V. This includes reading, coloring, writing letters to my kids, touching base with my friends and family, writing these blog entries etc. Sometimes I have to practice some affirmations and counter the unhelpful thinking patterns. Ya know, just therapizing myself.

Spiritual Goal– I spend intentional time with God every day. I do this through verbal prayer, my Light in the darkness devotional, journaling my prayers and spending time in the Word.

Physical Goal– This is the most basic but it’s deeply connected to the other two. My goal is to get out of bed, get dressed and go for a walk daily. It’s important that I move my body.

Important Dates

8/13– Transplant Day ( I am getting admitted to the hospital)

8/15– Annie and Emily start their new school. Prayers its a smooth transition

8/17– Hopefully I will be able to discharge out of the hospital this day

Thank you for being a part of my healing journey,

Danielle